December 9, 2023

Recently, a friend shared a postcard they had received in the mail—it was a photo of a serious-looking family with the headline, “NEW FAMILY ON ST JOHNS PL.” The postcard went on to provide more information:

We are the new family (The Bansons) residing at 56322 St. Johns Pl. Thank you for having us here. We only ask one thing: PLEASE DON’T TALK TO US. We have nothing against any of you. We are just in a religion where we don’t want you to talk to us. Do not approach us. Do not welcome us. Nothing wrong with our family. We just wish to stay alone.

The back of the postcard revealed front and side views of the three members of the family, along with their names, ages, and hobbies: David, Age 43, Car Engines; Maris, Age 29, Shoe Collection; and Davis Jr., Age 12, Toy Men.

I found the whole thing hilarious. And as much as I felt like these new neighbors would be just the kind of people I’d want to be friends with, I figured the whole thing probably wasn’t real, so I poked around and found out it’s an art piece by Alan Wagner, who describes himself like this on his Patreon: “I’m Alan, I make comedy, I make videos, I make things.” The postcard was the August 2023 Patreon surprise, entitled “Don’t Talk To Us Family.” 

If you’re a fan of weird comedy, with a kind of Tim Robinson vibe, you’ll probably like Alan Wagner’s work. You can see some of his work on X, Instagram and YouTube, but if you want more, you can join his Patreon. The lowest tier is only $3.00 and includes the following:

Get a one-time Wagner print of your choice mailed to you IMMEDIATELY

See all Wagner posts 24 hours early

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In his Patreon video he explains that 10% of his monthly profits go to NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

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